


When Evil Rains

by to-a-merrier-world (wayward_wolves)



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Endgame Alluther, Endgame Benkliego, Endgame Five/Vanya/Original Female Character, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Major Original Character(s), Multi, Mystery, Non-Binary Klaus Hargreeves, POV Multiple, Pansexual Klaus Hargreeves, Pseudo-Incest, Science Fiction, Slow Burn, Slow-ish Burn Ben/Klaus, Tags May Change, Very Slow Burn Ben/Klaus/Diego, original dog character - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-14
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2019-11-18 05:07:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18113897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wayward_wolves/pseuds/to-a-merrier-world
Summary: Even the smallest of changes can have a huge impact. Like a woman deciding to drive herself to the airport instead of taking a cab, leading to her untimely demise and changing the lives of twenty-four children forever. Or a dog wandering into the same park as a dying drug addict, which eventually leads to stopping an apocalypse.Because sometimes it’s the little things that make the biggest difference.--Or, an AU in which the Hargreeves find out what happened to the other 36 children who share their birthday, and even meet a few of them.





	1. 1 October 1989

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: The rest of the story will not be formatted the way the 1st chapter is. This is just for the intro. Also, in case it's not obvious, the intro is meant to be excerpts from one of Reginald's journals.
> 
> Title taken from the Umbrella Academy's seal/insignia thing which has the latin phrase "ut malum pluvia" which translates to "when evil rains", which is amazing and hilarious.
> 
> not beta'ed, so all mistakes are mine.
> 
> Content Warnings: Mentions of death and suicide.

**_2 October 1989_ **

_There has been a highly unusual and improbable event._

_On 1 October 1989, forty-three women around the world gave birth simultaneously. This was unusual in that none of them were pregnant the day before._

_I hypothesize this was the Universal Corrective Event Olivier calculated. I shall endeavor to collect as many of the infants as possible to test this hypothesis._

_This may be the key to stopping the apocalypse._

 

**_4 January 1990_ **

_Complete Data on The Forty-Three:_

  * _12 infants perished during or directly after their birth_
  * _19 mothers refused to sell_
  * _5 extended families refused to sell, despite the mothers perishing during childbirth_
  * _7 infants were bought_



_Notes:_

_It is unfortunate that so many perished, but a greater misfortune that so many mothers and families refused to sell. I offered amounts far greater than the infants may even warrant, yet many refused or even took offence._

_I have done extensive research on the development of infants and have determined that any rigorous experiments must be postponed until the children have aged. However, their health, brain waves, and all activities will be strictly monitored in the event that any child exhibits peculiarities._

**_15 February 1991_ **

_Number Four has exhibited a peculiarity. As previously noted, he tends to show greater fear than the other six, and also talks to the air when no one is around. After careful research, including recordings of brain waves and extensive observations, I have come to the conclusion that he can see the dead. I must wait until he develops more cognitively before experimenting on his ability to communicate with them._

_Notes:_

  * _Will he develop further abilities related to this? Creating corporeal ghosts? Controlling the dead?_
  * _Will this ability physically manifest? Will he develop the ability to become incorporeal? Invisible?_



_I am certain the others will develop their own abilities soon._

**_9 November 2001_ **

_The Umbrella Academy debuted a week ago._

_While useful, they are not always disciplined. Numbers Four and Six are particularly resistant to training. With Number Seven’s uselessness, my certainty in the children’s ability to stop the apocalypse is waning._

_However, new data has emerged about the other twenty-four children I was unable to procure._

_Jonathon Block—millionaire, doctor, philanthropist—has created a school for purported “special” children._

_I will endeavor to negotiate with Block to determine the usefulness of the remaining twenty-four. Should their abilities prove useful to me, I shall then negotiate with their guardians for their rights._

**_12 December 2001_ **

_Block has refused to share any of his research on the other twenty-four._

_His sister was one of the forty-three women, and one of the few who perished during childbirth along with the infant. He has become extremely attached and protective towards the other twenty-four._

_He claims to be teaching the twenty-four control over their powers and nothing more. He believes I am “crazy and cruel” to the seven for turning them into a team of heroes._

_He is a fool._

_He does not understand that I am trying to save this pathetic planet full of pathetic people._

_However, he has threatened to use his own power to take the Umbrella Academy away from me should I push the matter of the other twenty-four. I, unfortunately, do not doubt his ability to do so. He has many friends in many places._

_As I cannot know whether the other twenty-four would even be of use, I have come to the conclusion that pursuing this course of action further would be fruitless._

**_4 November 2002_ **

_It has been a month since Number Five left. I am beginning to doubt whether he will ever return._

_This is unfortunate, as he was one of the most useful of the seven—not only in his abilities, but in his mind and discipline._

_Though this is a blow to the Umbrella Academy’s overall level of power, I believe that, with more intense and extensive training, the remaining five will be able to pick up the slack._

**_21 July 2007_ **

_Number Six has died in a training accident._

_Unfortunate, as he was one of the most powerful._

_I would want Number Four to summon him and attempt to make his form corporeal in order to maintain Number Six’s usefulness, but I doubt Four’s ability to do so. He has yet to come anywhere close to what I estimate his true potential to be._

_Such a disappointment._

**_2 January 2008_ **

_Number Four left the Academy in the middle of the night. He took a number of my possessions with him, likely to sell._

_I have instructed Pogo and the other children not to go looking for him._

_Such a waste._

**_14 June 2008_ **

_Number Two has announced he is leaving the Academy. According to Mother, he plans to attend the police academy to become an officer. I hypothesize that he will fail._

_Number Seven left last month to attend a community college. She continues to take her medication, so her behavior is none of my concern._

**_1 August 2008_ **

_Number Three has abruptly moved to California to pursue a career as a film actress. Not entirely surprising, given her insistence through the years in working as an actress and model in New York._

_She unfortunately continues to recklessly use her ability. She wastes her talents on such frivolous activities._

**_22 April 2010_ **

_Jonathon Block has died of a heart attack. I will travel to his school to obtain his research on the other twenty-four._

_Though the apocalypse is less than a decade away, there may still be time to train some of the others into usefulness._

**_2 May 2010_ **

_Block either did not maintain records of his research (unlikely), or had ordered for it to be destroyed upon his death._

_Despite this, I was able to obtain a list of the identities of the other twenty-four and conducted my own investigation._

_Nineteen of the twenty-four are dead. Causes of death range from accidents to public mass shootings to muggings to illness to killed during active duty._

_There are only five who are supposedly still alive, though I have been unable to locate them. This may be due to one of the children’s abilities._

_Upon further consideration, I have concluded that I will not be spending anymore of my time and resources searching for the remaining five. I cannot know whether they will be useful to stopping the apocalypse, and therefore cannot justify wasting any more effort in searching._

_There are only nine years until the 2019 apocalypse. The Umbrella Academy will have to be enough._

**_1 March 2019_ **

_The apocalypse is in a month._

_The children are not ready, but there is no more time._

_They are spread too thin, all of them too self-obsessed and resentful to come at my beckoning. I must take drastic measures to force them together before the apocalypse._

_I will kill myself 10 days before the world is set to end._

**_23 March 2019_ **

_I am not a hopeful man. I mostly see such things as a waste of mental energy and a weakness of the will._

_However…_

_I hope to see my love after tonight._

_It is illogical._

_It is impossible._

_And yet I hope._

_Would you be happy with what I have done?_

_Would you be proud?_

_I will never know, as I plan to erase where we came from._

_Will you only ever exist in my memories? What a shameful thing for the universe to have to suffer. You, never existing._

_Of course, you may still come to be, somehow. Stranger things have happened than someone existing who really shouldn’t._

_After all, you fell in love with me._

_Goodnight, my love._

_I shall dream of your violin…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave a kudo and/or a comment if you enjoyed this! 
> 
> next chapter is when we really get into the story:D i hope y'all like klaus, lol, cause he's taking up at least the first 4 or so chapters.
> 
> you can find me on tumblr as to-a-merrier-world and on twitter as @sleepy_hunk.


	2. Merry Christmas, Ya Filthy Animal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: I wrote the beginning of this and another part with the intention of being kinda off and disjointed, since it’s Klaus’s POV and he’s high and drunk. Let me know if it worked at all? It’s kinda a writing experiment for me.
> 
> Warnings: drug and alcohol use, nonconsensual touching/assault (very brief and non-explicit)
> 
> no beta, all mistakes mine.

**24 December 2015**

**\--**

Klaus didn’t remember how he ended up in this club (or was it a warehouse?). He knew he was having a good time, though.

He was swaying and moving his body to the pounding music, floating within the sea of bodies.

Lights flashed around him. The air was heavy with smoke and the stench of too many sweaty bodies.

He loved it.

He’d had a few drinks, though he couldn’t remember how many.

He’d also had whatever had been in the baggy he’d bought off a person with fluorescent pink hair and sparkly, sharp nails.

He remembered asking them where they got their nails, but couldn’t remember their answer.

Klaus suddenly opened his eyes and looked around him, trying to find the pink-haired, sharp-nailed drug dealer.

He liked their nails. He couldn’t quiet remember what they looked like, but he knew he liked them.

He pushed his way through the press of bodies around him.

He wanted to ask them again. It would be fun to have nails like that.

An arm suddenly wound around his waist, pulling him back against a hard chest. A hand pushed up the front of his shirt, cold against his heated skin.

Klaus didn’t like the cold.

He didn’t like these hands.

He pushed them away, nails scratching against skin.

They pulled back, and Klaus moved forward to put distance between them.

Hands pressed into his back and suddenly he was lying on the ground, his face and wrist throbbing.

His heart pounded in his ears.

He pushed himself up onto his knees.

He reached up to touch his face. When he pulled his hand away, there wasn’t any blood.

That was good.

He wasn’t having a good time anymore.

He stumbled to his feet. It was hard to stay up right.

Everything was too loud, the lights too bright, the people too close.

He finally found a wall and followed it to a door. He pushed through it and stumbled outside.

Cold air rushed to meet him, and Klaus gasped in the frigid, clean air.

Some of the fog in his mind cleared, and he shook his head to clear it some more. He wrapped his arms around himself, trying to fend off the biting cold. He wasn’t really dressed for the weather, his flower-embroidered jacket more for fashion than for warmth.

He looked around, trying to figure out where he was, absentmindedly rubbing his hands up and down his arms.

“Finally,” a familiar voice called behind him. “I was starting to think I’d have to go in after you.”

Klaus turned and squinted at Ben.

“Were you waitin’ for me?” he asked, only slurring a little. “Tha’s sweet.”

Ben just looked at him, unimpressed.

Klaus rolled his eyes and turned to start walking down the street. He didn’t know where he was or what time it was—he honestly wasn’t even sure what day it was—but he wasn’t about to admit any of that to Ben.

Anyways, he’d been in worse situations than being a little lost.

Klaus didn’t hear Ben follow him, but then he remembered that he wouldn’t because Ben was dead and didn’t make noise when he walked anymore.

That made something twist in his gut, which was the last thing Klaus wanted to feel right now. He dug his hands into his pockets, grabbing what felt like a baggy and pulling it out.

“Aha!” he cried, holding the baggy up triumphantly.

He pulled it open and dumped the two pills inside onto his palm. He smiled down at them.

“Well, hello, beautifuls,” he crooned before knocking them back and dry swallowing.

“Are you fucking serious, Klaus?” Ben asked from beside him.

Klaus giggled.

“I’m always serious about fucking, darling, you know that,” Klaus replied, his grin feeling fragile on his face.

He didn’t have to turn and look at Ben to know he was giving Klaus those angry, disappointed eyes.

Klaus kept walking and he didn’t check to see if Ben followed, though he knew he did. It was just something he could always sense, no matter how high or drunk he was. He knew when Ben was near.

He really wished he didn’t, sometimes.

By the time he reached the end of the street, he was feeling warmer and kinda floaty. It was nice.

He looked to his left and saw a park, so he headed towards it.

He liked parks.

His vision suddenly blurred, forcing him to stop and blink hard.

Wait. His vision wasn’t blurring. There were little white specks falling from the sky.

Klaus looked up. It was snowing.

He laughed, grinning wildly up at the sky.

He spun slowly in a circle. Round, and round, and round, and round…

Like this, the snow almost looked like stars. Like they were floating down to meet him.

Maybe they’d take him with them when they went back to the sky.

That would be nice.

He didn’t think there were any dead people in the sky.

He started to feel dizzy, so he stopped spinning.

He wobbled over to a nearby bench and sat down heavily.

He leaned his head back, watching the snow fall.

“… beautiful,” he whispered, his breath creating a cloud above his head.

He wondered if the stars heard him. He hoped they did.

A wave of exhaustion suddenly washed over him.

God, he was tired.

What time was it?

Klaus leaned over on the bench until he was on his side. He brought his legs up and curled in on himself.

He closed his eyes.

“Klaus!”

Klaus jumped, ramming his head into the back of the bench. He groaned, clutching his head.

“What the fuck…” he moaned.

“You can’t fall asleep here!”

Klaus looked up to find Ben standing in front of him. He was backlit by the streetlamp behind him, and he couldn’t see his face.

Klaus waved a hand at him, settling back down on the bench.

“’m fine, I’ve slept in parks before, you know that.”

Already, his eyelids were too heavy for him to keep open. He was so tired.

“Klaus! You can’t sleep here! It’s too cold, and you’re wearing basically nothing! You’re going to freeze! You could die, Klaus! …

“Klaus! …

“ _Klaus!_ …

_“KLAU-”_

Klaus fell asleep.

\---

He came to slowly. He was warm and lying on something hard and flat.

When he opened his eyes, the sky greeted him. Oh. He was on the ground. Not that unusual, really.

He sat up and looked around. He was in the middle of a dirt road with trees on each side and a meadow just beyond them on the right. He had no idea where he was or how he’d gotten there.

Also, everything looked… off, and it took him a moment to realize what it was.

He was seeing everything in black and white. Weird.

“Hmm,” he hummed, pushing himself to his feet.

He felt completely fine, despite not knowing where he was. Better than fine, really. He felt _good_. And not the kind of good he chased with a flask or some pills or a needle.

There was no itch under his skin, no pain or ache or crawling sensation anywhere in his body. There was a calmness to his mind and emotions that he couldn’t remember ever having, but he wasn’t worried about it at all.

He was… peaceful.

And while he wasn’t concerned about any of this, some part of him still noticed the wrongness of it all.

He raised his arms above his head, stretching, and turned in a circle, looking for anything remotely familiar. He spotted a little girl down the road, riding a bike towards him.

“Oh. Yoo-hoo!” He called, waving at the girl.

He walked towards her and she eventually came to a stop in front of him.

She had skin darker than his and long dark hair. She was wearing an all-white, lace dress and a white, wide-brimmed hat. There were white daisies in her basket.

“Hello,” he said.

“Almost didn’t see you,” she replied. “Keep on riding around here. So pale and all.”

“Hmm,” Klaus said, nodding.

“They don’t have any sun down there?”

“Down there?” Klaus frowned. “Where am I?”

“Where do you think?”

Klaus took a deep breath. “I’m not sure. I’m agnostic, so—”

“Doesn’t really matter,” she interrupted. “You can’t stay here.”

“Why not?”

“To be blunt, I don’t really like you all that much.”

“Mm,” Klaus nodded. “Yeah, me neither.”

He frowned again. “But wait a minute, aren’t you supposed to _love_ all of us?”

She scoffed. “Where’d you get that idea? I need you so I can pick and choose. And you don’t rub me the right way.”

“Wait,” Klaus said, voice softening. He leaned forward, putting his hands on his knees, so he was eye-to-eye with the girl.

“So you… you made us? You made _me_?”

“Well, I made everything else, so I must have made you,” she replied with a shrug.

Klaus laughed humorlessly.

“…Why?” She asked. “Do you have another idea?”

Klaus shrugged. “Maybe. A couple. I dunno.”

The girl leaned forward on her bike. “Well, then, keep them to yourself. You should go now. It’s not time, yet.”

“Time…?”

“Bye,” she said.

She pushed off the ground, and Klaus stepped out of the way as she pedaled past.

“Wait, where am I supposed to—”

The world spun around him and Klaus fell into black.

\---

He woke with a violent gasp.

There was something heavy on top of him, and he felt like he couldn’t breathe.

Panic gripped his chest. He thrashed around until the weight lifted off his chest and he fell to the ground.

He laid there for a moment, panting and trying to take stock of reality.

He was cold, so cold he could feel it in his bones. The kind of cold that made you think you’d never be warm again. Also, his head was pounding, and his wrist hurt like a bitch.

He tried to remember last night, but all he could recall was being at a party, watching snow, and then nothing.

What had that place been? Was it a dream?

… Had he really died? Fuck.

Eventually, he pushed himself up until he was sitting upright, leaning back against the bench. He scrunched his face up in pain and waited for a wave of light-headedness and nausea to pass.

Then, he opened his eyes and screamed.

Dog. Big dog. Big, huge, giant, _fuck off dog_.

It was standing right in front of him, staring at him.

Klaus stared back, his eyes wide.

“It saved your life.”

Klaus jumped again—and that was really starting to get on his nerves—and looked to find Ben sitting on the bench.

“…What?” He asked.

“I thought I was going to have to watch you freeze to death,” he said. He wasn’t looking at him, and Klaus knew he’d fucked up.

“But then it wandered into the park last night after you’d fallen asleep. It spotted you and came over, sniffed around you for a while. Then it climbed up on the bench and laid down on top of you. I think it was cold, too.”

Klaus looked back at the dog, which was still standing there, staring at him. He wondered what it wanted.

“H-hey there,” he said, lifting a shaking hand slowly towards it.

“ _Klaus_ ,” Ben hissed, reaching out on reflex to stop him, his hand passing through Klaus’s arm. “That’s a _wolf_.”

Klaus scoffed. “It is _not_. What the hell would a wolf be doing in the city?”

He looked back at the dog, which had tilted its head in interest. Or maybe confusion? Klaus didn’t know much about dogs or dog body language. He just hoped he didn’t make it mad.

“It’s just a big dog that _looks_ like a wolf. I’m sure there’re breeds like that.”

He lifted his hand again.

“Hey, buddy.” He wiggled his fingers at it. “Hey.”

The dog looked at his hand and took a hesitant step forward. Klaus stayed still, not wanting to startle it.

He could feel the tension rolling off of Ben, and he hoped the dog couldn’t feel it, too. Could animals sense the dead? He felt like he’d read that somewhere. He hoped that wasn’t true because Ben would _definitely_ freak it out.

“It’s okay,” Klaus coaxed, trying to sound as gentle and non-threatening as possible.

Slowly, its eyes never leaving Klaus’s face, the dog approached until Klaus’s fingers were brushing against its head.

Klaus slowly ran his fingers up the dog’s head until his whole hand was resting between its ears. He rubbed his thumb against its fur, which was much coarser than he’d thought it would be. He watched his own hand in wonder—he’d never been this up-close and personal with a dog before.

“Hey, buddy,” Klaus said, keeping his voice low and as calm as he was capable.

He let his hand drift down to the dog’s neck, his fingers sinking into the thick fur there. The dog sat down between Klaus’s spread legs, seemingly content to let Klaus pet it.

“So, you saved my life, huh? Now, why’d you go and do a thing like that? What does a dog like you want with a guy like me?”

The dog didn’t answer, but it did start wagging its tail when Klaus dug his fingers in and started scratching it behind its ears.

Klaus laughed, delighted. “You like that, buddy? Aw, who’s a good boy?”

Klaus frowned, a thought suddenly occurring to him. “Wait, is it sexist for me to assume you’re a boy dog?”

He thought on it for a moment, but then shook his head.

“No, no. Dog’s don’t have genders. You have no concept of societal gender roles or sexuality or anything like that, do you?” He asked the dog rhetorically. It just continued to look at Klaus and wag its tail.

“Lucky bastard,” he laughed. “I wish I didn’t have a gender, sometimes. Other times it’s pretty great, but sometimes it’s _very_ annoying. I think I’d like living as a dog, with no concept of gender. That’d be nice.”

Someone snorted behind him, and Klaus turned to see Ben watching them with exasperated amusement. Klaus smiled widely at him, feeling a little ball of happiness form in his chest.

Ben had clearly forgiven him for the near-death scare. Klaus didn’t know why Ben always forgave him, even when he didn’t apologize, but right now, he was happy.

He turned back to look at the dog, which had tilted its head again. He wondered if dogs could think people were crazy. Or maybe everything people did was crazy to dogs, and Klaus really wasn’t all that different.

That would be funny.

“So, what should I do for my knight in shining armor, hm? I feel like I should do _something_ to show my appreciation for not letting me freeze to death.”

Just then, Klaus’s stomach growled loudly. The dog jumped, looking down at Klaus’s stomach in alarm, which made Klaus burst into laughter.

“I bet you’re hungry, too,” he said. “How about some food as a thank you?”

At the word ‘food’, the dog’s ears perked up and its tail started wagging enthusiastically.

“Oh, you know that word, huh? Food? You want food, baby boy?”

The dog gave him such a sweet look of hope, Klaus almost teared up. He couldn’t remember anyone or anything _ever_ looking at him like that. And wasn’t that sad, almost crying because he mentioned food to a dog and it got excited?

He was far too sober for that train of thought.

He scrambled to his feet gracelessly and finally took a good look at his surroundings.

“Huh.”

He actually recognized this park. He’d given a girl a blowjob in the thicket of trees near the entrance, one time. He’d also gotten high here, several times.

He tried to remember where the nearest soup kitchen was. He didn’t have any cash, and he’d had his bag with his meager belongings stolen a few days ago, so all he had was already on his body.

So, not much.

He couldn’t think of a soup kitchen nearby, but he remembered that there was a homeless shelter only a few blocks away. It didn’t have food, that he could recall, but they would know where he could get some.

… And he should probably get some warmer clothes, while he was at it. Freezing to death once was enough for him, thank you.

Klaus turned towards the dog, who was patiently sitting next to him.

“Alright, come on, boy,” Klaus said, gesturing for the dog to follow him as he made his way to the park’s entrance.

The dog walked by his left side, close enough that the tips of Klaus’s fingers brushed its fur as they walked.

Ben walked on Klaus’s right side, hands in his leather jacket’s pockets.

“He’s well-trained,” Ben commented, looking at the dog.

“Mm-hm.”

“…It’d be nice to have a guard dog around. You wouldn’t get your stuff stolen anymore,” Ben said, trying to sound nonchalant.

Klaus was already shaking his head halfway through Ben’s statement.

“Ooooh, no. No, no. I’m not keeping him. I’ve never had a pet, and that is definitely a good thing, because I would be a _terrible_ pet owner. And anyways, what do I know about animals? The only animal I’ve ever known was Pogo, and he was more like an uncle than a pet.”

A woman passing him on the sidewalk gave him a look and a wide berth at that comment. Klaus smiled and waved cheerily at her with his left hand as she passed, ‘goodbye’ tattoo on full display.

Ben didn’t reply and remained quiet for the rest of the walk to the shelter. When they finally turned down the street the shelter was on, Klaus slowed to a stop, a frown on his face. There were way more people outside the shelter than usual, even for the cold weather.

“What the hell is going on?” Klaus murmured.

“You don’t know what day it is, do you?” Ben asked, walking over to a building and leaning against it.

Klaus pursed his lips and didn’t meet Ben’s gaze. He could practically feel him rolling his eyes.

“It’s December 25th, Klaus. Christmas Day?”

Klaus looked at him in surprise.

Was it really? He could have sworn it was Thanksgiving like… a week ago.

He glanced down at the dog, and then a thought suddenly popped into his head and he burst into laughter.

He was laughing so hard that he had to stumble over to the wall Ben was leaning against for support.

“Uh, Klaus? You okay?” Ben asked.

Klaus slid down to the ground, still chuckling and shaking his head. He held out his hands to the dog, who approached him cautiously.

Klaus framed its head in his hands, petting down its neck and back up again, over and over.

“You’re a goddamn Christmas miracle,” he said, letting out another giggle. “Oh, that’s hilarious.”

Ben huffed a laugh beside him, and Klaus just kept petting the dog for a while, the two of them seemingly content for the moment.

When Klaus’s ass had well and truly been frozen by the cold sidewalk, he got back up and made his way to the shelter’s front door. He nodded at a few people he vaguely recognized, but everyone gave him a fairly wide berth.

He was just starting to wonder if someone had written ‘fuck off’ on his forehead again when he remembered that he had a huge, fuck-off dog walking beside him. Maybe Ben had a point about that guard dog thing…

When he reached the entrance, he saw a sign by the door that said ‘No Pets.’ He frowned, looking back down at the dog.

“Will you stay put?” He asked the dog, as though he was actually expecting an answer.

“I’ll watch him,” Ben said, leaning against the side of the building. “If he wanders off, I’ll come get you.”

Klaus smiled at Ben gratefully before turning back to the dog.

“Stay,” he said, holding his hand out palm first.

He was pretty sure that was how it was done.

The dog walked over to the side, within touching distance of Ben if Ben were actually corporeal, and sat down.

Klaus raised his eyebrows and exchanged a look with Ben.

“Smart doggie,” Klaus murmured before slipping inside.

The shelter was busy, as was to be expected on a holiday. Klaus made his way over to the closet—which was actually a counter being manned by a few volunteers which connected to a massive backroom full of all kinds of clothing.

Klaus got in line behind an older guy with an eyepatch. He wasn’t a very patient person, but if he was going to be sleeping outside more, he really needed to update his wardrobe. And this was, unfortunately, his only option right now.

After what was probably only fifteen minutes but felt closer to an hour, it was Klaus’s turn at the counter.

“What can we do for you?” The young lady at the front asked.

She was wearing a t-shirt with some church’s logo on the front, a white long-sleeved shirt underneath. The usual uniform for volunteers, but she was also rocking several ear piercings and blue-tipped hair, which sparked Klaus’s interest. He smiled flirtatiously at her.

“Hi,” he purred, leaning against the counter, though not so far as to come off as threatening. “I’m in _desperate_ need of a wardrobe change, as you can see.”

He gestured at himself, and the woman’s eyes followed the movement down. She quickly jerked her eyes back up to his face, but he knew the damage had already been done by the way pink was rapidly spreading across her cheeks.

A glittery, see-through top and tight leather pants could do that to a person.

“Not really weather appropriate, you know. But I also don’t want to have to give up these clothes.” He wrapped his arms around himself, pouting a little. “I don’t have anything to carry them in, though…”

“We can provide you with a bag,” the woman said, leaning a bit closer to Klaus.

Klaus smiled. “Really? That would be _wonderful_.”

He leaned back, tilting his head to the side.

“You look like you have a good eye,” he commented, letting a grin slowly spread across his face. “Think you could also find me something warm _and_ fashionable?”

She looked away, fighting back a smile, before looking back at him.

“Well, I mean… I can try,” she offered.

Klaus clutched his hands over his chest. “ _Thank_ you.”

She smiled at him before turning and gesturing for another volunteer to take her place at the counter. Klaus stepped to the far side of the counter to wait, leaning against it with a pleased smile.

It was nearly fifteen minutes later when she finally emerged from the back room, a durable looking backpack over her shoulder and a warm looking coat in her arms. Klaus excitedly grabbed at the bag and coat when she placed them on the counter.

“I tried my best, so I hope you like them,” she said, smiling up at Klaus.

Klaus clutched the haul to his chest, arms wrapped protectively around it. He smiled at her—bright and real.

“You’re an _angel_ ,” he said. “A beautiful, blonde, Christmas angel!”

She laughed, cheeks still a lovely rose color.

“A thank you will suffice,” she replied.

“Thank you,” he said, bowing dramatically because, well. He liked being dramatic.

The woman laughed again.

“Oh, by the way,” Klaus said as he straightened. “Is there a kitchen nearby?”

“Hmm,” the woman frowned, looking off to the side in thought. “St. Elizabeth’s is pretty close. It’s a couple blocks from here. You walk out the door and take a left, then just keep walking until you hit 14th Ave. You’ll take another left there, go down about three blocks and it’ll be on your right!”

Klaus nodded along, hoping he remembered all of that. They weren’t overly complicated directions, but he never had been very good at following verbal instructions.

“Right,” he replied. “Thanks again.”

“Of course! Merry Christmas!” She smiled and gave him a little wave.

“And a _very_ happy Yuletide, to you!” Klaus called loudly over his shoulder as he made his way to the restroom to change.

He shuffled into the handicap stall, locking the door behind him. He took a moment to actually look at the coat she’d grabbed him. It was kind of boring, a simple black with no patterns to speak of, but the material was thick and warm.

Next, he pulled the backpack open and pulled out the clothing the woman had gotten him. He was surprised to find she’d actually gotten him two shirts along with some thermals and a pair of jeans.

Overall, nothing too exciting, but it was all fairly good quality and Klaus could tell it would all be warm.

He decided to forgo the shirts and just trade out his pretty but useless jacket for the warm coat. He also stripped out of his leather pants and pulled on a pair of black thermals. Not as nice looking as the leather, but infinitely warmer.

He could push aside his vanity for a little while. At least until he could get some extra cash. …Or it just got warmer.

Probably the second one.

He stuffed everything back into the backpack and hoisted it onto his shoulder. He hurried out of the bathroom, through the shelter, and back into the crisp winter air.

Ben and the dog were still waiting patiently outside for him, Ben sitting on the ground next to the dog who seemed to be people watching.

“Hello, darlings! I bring good news,” he swooped over to the dog, crouching in front of it and giving it some rigorous pets, which the dog accepted happily.

“Finally,” Ben muttered under his breath, standing up again.

“There’s a kitchen just a few blocks away! You ready to go get some food?”

The dog stood up and wagged its tail excitedly. Klaus grinned and stood, turning to start down the street.

They made their way to St. Elizabeth’s without incident, Klaus fortunately remembering the woman’s directions correctly. There weren’t a ton of people there, so Klaus was able to get his food fairly quickly.

He swiped a few extras for the dog, and then quickly left. He looked around for a place to eat in peace and quiet, eventually finding an empty alcove to sit in attached to what appeared to be an abandoned building.

He settled on the ground and laid his food haul around him. The dog sat across from him, looking at the food with great anticipation.

Klaus got the dog’s food ready first, setting out the chicken and baked potato he’d grabbed for it. The moment he placed the food in front of the dog, it tore into it ravenously, forcing Klaus to jerk his hands out of the way to avoid getting snagged by a tooth.

“Jeez, guess you really were hungry,” he muttered.

He left the dog to it and dug into his own food. The food was surprisingly decent, and before he knew it, he was scrapping his spoon around the to-go box to get the very last of it.

He tossed the empty styrofoam to the side when he finished, belching loudly.

“Gross, dude,” Ben said, wrinkling his nose.

Klaus made an obnoxious kissy face at him, which Ben rolled his eyes at. There was a hint of a smile, though, so Klaus took it as a win.

The dog made itself known again when it finished eating, moving closer to Klaus and laying its massive head in his lap.

“Oh, dear,” Klaus murmured, stroking along the dog’s head and shoulders. “Something tells me you’re getting attached. You really shouldn’t do that, you know. I’ll only let you down in the end.”

The dog closed its eyes in contentment, its breathing slow and steady.

Klaus sighed and leaned back against the building, his head hitting the wall hard enough to bring tears to his eyes. He looked out onto the street, watching as the occasional person or car passed by.

It was strange, how lonely a city could feel. You were always surrounded by people, but that didn’t mean anything, really, unless those people cared about you and you cared about them.

Klaus didn’t have people like that. Not anymore, at least. He’d burned those bridges to the ground and danced drunkenly on the ashes.

Except Ben. He still had Ben.

But Ben was dead, and Klaus couldn’t help but wonder why he stuck around. Misplaced duty? Too afraid to let go of this world, and Klaus was the only one he could hold onto? Or was Klaus the one holding onto him, keeping him from passing on?

He was too afraid of the answer to ever ask the question.

“God, I want a cigarette,” he whispered, hands buried deep into the dog’s fur.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave a kudo and/or comment if you enjoyed! 
> 
> you can find me on tumblr as @to-a-merrier-world and twitter as @sleepy_hunk


	3. there’s no plan (there’s no kingdom to come)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can see, I’ve settled on what pairings will appear in this fic:) As always, please be mindful of the tags and chapter content warnings. This is a WIP and some things are subject to change or be added. If you have any questions about tags, feel free to ask.
> 
> Chapter Content Warnings: alcohol/drug abuse; Klaus performing a sex act in exchange for drugs (graphic sexual content); reference to hallucinations and self-harm due to a bad reaction to an unknown substance; assault and attempted rape; brief blood/gore; depiction of a panic attack; very negative self-talk
> 
> To avoid the whole assault/attempted rape scene, stop reading here: “They waded through the crowd, and one of them pushed a cup into Klaus’s hand.” And pick back up here: “A loud crash forced a gasp from Klaus’s throat.”
> 
> If you want more details about content warnings before reading, feel free to ask any questions in the comments section. This includes asking for a chapter summary, in case you don’t want to risk reading but would still like to follow the story.
> 
> This is a “worse” of “it’s gotta get worse before it gets better.”

“Okay, so what are we going to call him?” Klaus asked, skipping down the street between Ben and the dog.

He’d sold the extra shirts and the jeans, and bought some pills with the cash, one of which he was enjoying now. He hadn’t spent all of it, though, which he was honestly surprised by and proud of himself for.

He was saving the rest to buy dog food. It made him want to run all the way back to the Academy and yell at the front gates, “See, Dad! I _can_ be responsible!”

He wasn’t actually going to do that, of course. Contrary to popular belief, he did have _some_ self-preservation instincts, at least when it came to dear ol’ Reggie. Namely: avoid him at all costs and try to forget everything he ever said and did to him.

It was a work in progress.

“What happened to ‘no way, Ben! I’m not keeping a dog, Ben! That’s a terrible idea, Ben!’, hm?” Ben asked, making his voice high and whiney when impersonating Klaus.

“First of all, I don’t sound like that,” Klaus said, holding up his pointer finger. “And _second_ of all,” he held up his middle finger, “screw you.”

Ben made an offended face, which made Klaus grin just a little manically.

“And _third of all_ , I… changed my mind.” He stuck his hands into the pockets of his big, formless, incredibly warm and ugly coat. “I figure… he’s already on his own, _clearly_ no one is feeding him or watching over him, and I mean… I can do a better job of taking care of him than he can do on his own, probably, right?”

Klaus glanced over at Ben, who gave him an appraising look before he smiled, small and sweet.

“Yeah, Klaus. I think if you really try, you’ll be an amazing dog owner,” he said in that stupid soft voice that Klaus was pretty sure he used on purpose because it made Klaus feel all gooey and vulnerable.

Klaus swallowed thickly and started walking faster down the street.

“So, names?” Klaus asked, not stopping to let Ben reply. “I was thinking something heroic, at first, you know? Since he’s my little furry hero, and all. So, Balto is an obvious choice, but is it _too_ obvious? I mean, Balto is the savior of all children and dogs, and is probably the most heroic animal in history, so that seems a little too obvious to me, don’t you think?

“So, then I was thinking about his personality, and he’s such a loyal, well-behaved dog, you know? Almost regal. So then I was thinking, ‘well, what about something royal?’ Like, William or Richard or _George_.”

“I’m not calling a dog George, I’m telling you right now,” Ben interrupted.

“Well, lucky for you, you won’t actually have to ever call him anything because he can’t hear you.”

Klaus paused, and then turned and blew a kiss at Ben.

“Said with love.”

Ben shook his head and rolled his eyes.

“But you’re right, George doesn’t suit him _at all_ , does it, baby?” Klaus asked, directing the question towards the dog.

The dog looked up at him briefly before looking forward again.

“That’s a no,” Klaus told Ben. “So, then I was thinking of something more… _fun_. Funky. He’s a fun dog, and I’m a fun guy, so something fun would make sense! Like Frankie. Or oooooh _Darcy!”_

Klaus hunched over to talk directly to the dog as he walked. “Are you a Darcy? Are you a Mr. Darcy? A prideful, rich Brit who learns humility and eventually proves himself worthy of Ms. Bennet? Would you look like Colin Firth or Matthew Macfadyen if you were human?”

Ben sputtered and laughed at that, making Klaus jolt to a stop and turn to stare at him. A man that was walking behind him cursed and bumped his shoulder while passing, annoyed at his sudden stop, but Klaus hardly even noticed.

When was the last time he’d seen Ben laugh? Not snort or snicker, but actually, honest-to-god _laugh_. Klaus couldn’t remember, but it was shockingly, heart-wrenchingly, devastatingly beautiful, and Klaus stopped breathing for a moment.

“We’re not calling him Darcy, either!”

He turned his head to look at Klaus, but Klaus suddenly couldn’t stand to look him in the eyes, so he averted his gaze, staring just over Ben’s shoulder. It was then when something caught his eye.

He stepped closer, incidentally bringing him directly into Ben’s space. He stopped short of passing through Ben, barely a hair’s breadth away.

“Klaus?” Ben asked, voice hushed and slightly breathless.

Klaus barely heard him, though, mind too caught up in what he was seeing and the idea suddenly buzzing in his mind. He grinned widely and whipped around, kneeling in front of the dog.

“How about Fitz?” He asked, reaching out and cupping the dog’s head in his hands. “After the prolific Ella Fitzgerald, the First Lady of Song. God, I remember the first time I heard her…” Klaus shook his head, a dreamy look in his eyes. “It was like a religious experience. Or, no, like falling in love for the first time, god. The voice of a literal angel.”

He looked back down at the dog, bringing their faces even closer. “Seems fitting, considering you were my own little guardian angel, come to save me. Isn’t that right, baby?”

The dog started wagging his tail and Klaus grinned.

“Do you like it? Fitz? You like the name Fitz?”

His tail kept wagging and he made a boofing sound, like a muffled bark, one of the few sounds the quiet dog had actually made.

“Ohoho, I think he likes it,” Klaus said, starting to scratch around the dog’s neck. “Yeah, you like Fitz, don’t you? Yes, you do!”

After a good, long moment of showering the newly christened Fitz with affection, Klaus turned to look back at Ben. He wasn’t going to change his mind on this name, especially since he’d already confirmed it with Fitz himself, but he still wanted Ben’s approval.

Ben was leaning against the shop window with his arms crossed and a small smile on his face. Ella’s elegant visage on the cover of the record album that had caught Klaus’s eye could be seen just over his shoulder.

“I like it,” Ben said, easily guessing what Klaus was looking for.

Klaus grinned, turning back to the dog.

“Welcome to the family, Fitz!”

\---

_A few days later_

Fuck, Klaus felt like shit, nauseated and achy all over. And _sweaty_ , ugh.

He’d taken his last pill that morning, and it was now well past… actually, Klaus didn’t know what time it was, but the withdrawal symptoms had started up and he felt like _shit_.

He needed a hit.

But he’d spent the last of his cash on food for Fitz, which he told himself he _didn’t_ regret, no matter how much he’d love being high right now, because he’d said he was going to take care of Fitz, and for once in his life he was going to fucking follow through.

He just needed to find some other way to get what he wanted. He wasn’t in the mood for a club or party, which were his preferred methods of getting drinks and drugs when he had little to no cash.

Ugh, looked like he’d have to pay a visit to Aron with one A. Klaus didn’t like getting stuff from him, especially since it was always a 60/40 chance of it being cut with something nasty, but also cause the guy just creeped him out. But he had a thing for Klaus and had given him freebies before after a bit of frottage and making out, so. To Aron he would go.

“Where are you going?” Ben asked as Klaus stood and made his way to the door.

They were in an abandoned convenience store, which Klaus had been calling “home” for the last few days. He’d jimmied the back door open, and no one had noticed or tried to settle in the place too, so he considered it “his” now, at least for the time being.

It was actually pretty nice, compared to some of the other places he’d slept. Relatively clean, no rats, and even a canvas sheet that made for an almost comfortable blanket.

“Out,” Klaus responded, pulling on his jacket—the pretty but useless one.

“Out where?”

Klaus laughed, the sound high and nervous. “What is this, the Spanish Inquisition? Just… out! I’ll be back soon.”

“Klaus…”

“Stay and watch Fitz for me!” Klaus called over his shoulder as he slipped out the back door.

He made his way towards Propaganda, the club Aron usually hung around when he was selling. He’d told Klaus, once, that he’d cut a deal with the owner to sell both in and out of the club without being turned in to the police in exchange for a percentage of the sales.

He just hoped Aron had decided to sell outside the club rather than inside tonight. He could do without the loud music and flashing lights right now, with the massive headache he was currently sporting.

After catching a bus and walking a few blocks, he finally reached Propaganda. There were a few people smoking or talking on the street, and a reasonably long line at the door. Klaus made his way towards the alley that Aron usually sold in when he was outside the club.

He turned the corner and spotted Aron leaning against the wall, smoking and chatting with a girl in huge, sparkly heels that Klaus was instantly jealous of. He started forward, raising a hand to wave and get Aron’s attention, when an arm came out of nowhere and hit his chest, blocking him from going forward.

Klaus stumbled back with a grunt and turned to look at the truly massive man who’d stopped him. The guy could almost give Luther a run for his money, Jesus, what were they feeding this guy?

“Get lost, kid.”

Klaus’s face scrunched up, offended. “Excuse me, ‘kid’? First of all, screw you, and second of all-”

Fortunately, before Klaus could finish sticking his foot in his mouth, Aron interrupted.

“Klaus?” He asked, coming up behind the giant.

“Hey, Aron,” Klaus said, leaning forward and smiling flirtatiously.

Aron smiled at him, looking him up and down appreciatively before patting the other man on the shoulder.

“Relax, big guy. Klaus is one of my favorite customers. I know you’re new to the job, but you gotta loosen up or you’ll start losin’ me business, ya know?”

It’s all said off-handedly, like it’s actually some friendly advice, but Klaus has been around long enough to know what’s going unsaid—don’t screw up again or you’ll regret it.

Aron turned back to Klaus with a smile, holding his hand out to him. Klaus grinned and took it, letting Aron lead him towards the back of the alley. The woman that had been chatting with Aron winked at him as she opened a side door back into the club. Klaus wished he could have asked her where she got her shoes.

Aron came to a stop near the back of the alley and leaned against the wall, finally letting go of Klaus’s hand.

“It’s been a while, baby, how you doin’?” Aron asked.

Klaus shrugged, shuffling a bit closer. “You know, the usual. You?”

“The usual,” Aron repeated, grinning. “Though, I have to admit, I _have_ missed those pretty eyes of yours…”

Klaus leaned forward with a smile, fluttering his lashes for effect. “Oh, really?”

“Mmm,” Aron hummed, lifting his hand and dragging a finger down Klaus’s chest to his exposed midriff. “So, what do you want?”

“What do I always want?” Klaus purred, leaning even more into Aron’s space.

Aron grinned, pulling his hand back. “I got something special, think you’ll like it.”

He pulled a baggy out of one of his inner jacket pockets, holding it up in front of Klaus’s face. Klaus reached for it, but Aron moved it out of reach, pushing a bit on Klaus’s chest and forcing him back.

“Uh-uh, baby, you know the rules. Show me the money first,” Aron said, still smiling.

Klaus made a face. “Ah, well, you see, I don’t have any money on me right now…”

Aron hummed. “That so?”

He dragged his eyes down Klaus’s body slowly, making Klaus shiver. He wasn’t sure if it was from arousal or disgust. Honestly, it was a toss-up at the moment.

When his eyes finally made it back up to Klaus’s face again, Aron’s smile had turned predatory.

“You willin’ to pay the other way?”

“Depends,” Klaus answered, leaning in until their faces were within kissing distance. “How much is it worth?”

Klaus didn’t really mean that. Aron was his best bet at getting something without any cash, and he’d never asked for more than a blowjob, which Klaus was definitely willing to do right now to get his fix.

Aron hooked a finger into one of Klaus’s belt loops and pulled him even closer. “How about we get started and I let you know?”

Klaus let Aron get a hair’s breadth away from kissing him before pulling back, pushing a finger into his chest.

“Mm, no. How much?” Klaus asked, keeping a flirtatious smile on his face.

Aron groaned, letting his head fall back against the wall. He pursed his lips before glancing up at Klaus.

“Handjob.”

“With kissing?” Klaus asked.

“Of course. You know I can’t get enough of your mouth,” Aron replied with a roguish grin.

Klaus laughed, then leaned in to kiss Aron, excited that they’d struck a deal. Aron immediately shoved his hands under Klaus’s shirt, hands roaming across his back as he shoved his tongue into Klaus’s mouth.

He was hardly the best kisser Klaus had ever had the pleasure of trading spit with. Way too forceful with his tongue, and he strangely never touched Klaus’s head, face, or neck—his favorite spots when being kissed.

The kiss went on for a while until Aron seemed to get impatient, grabbing Klaus’s hand and pressing it against his clothed dick. Klaus rolled his eyes behind his eyelids, but got to work unbuttoning Aron’s jeans and pushing them and his underwear down far enough to pull his dick free.

Aron groaned, and Klaus released him long enough to spit into his hand before wrapping it back around him. Aron leaned his head forward to rest against Klaus’s shoulder so he could watch as Klaus touched him.

Klaus allowed himself to zone out as he moved his hand and Aron fucked up into his fist. He’d given enough handjobs that he could practically do it in his sleep.

He could hear the pounding music from inside the club, muffled by the brick walls but still loud enough that Klaus could almost make out the lyrics. It wasn’t a song he recognized, but he liked the beat of it, unconsciously beginning to nod his head to it.

He zoned back in when Aron grabbed ahold of the front of his shirt and dragged him back into a kiss. He could feel his hips start to stutter, and figured he was close to coming. He moved his hand faster, being sure to rub just under the head.

Aron came with a groan all over Klaus’s hand. Fortunately, none of it got on their clothes. Klaus stroked him through it until Aron pushed his hand away, panting as he reached into his jacket for tissues.

He cleaned himself off before tossing the pack of tissues at Klaus to clean his hand. After Klaus did so and handed the pack back, Aron drew Klaus forward by the waist, a satisfied grin on his face.

He kissed Klaus almost sweetly, slipping a baggy into his hand while he did so.

Finally, Aron pulled back. “Always a pleasure doing business with you.”

Klaus smiled, holding the baggy up between his fingers and kissing it. “And you.”

He slipped out of Aron’s hold and sauntered off, being sure to sway his hips as he went. He knew Aron was watching him go.

He nodded to the giant man as he exited the alley, stuffing both hands into his pockets. He couldn’t wipe the grin off his face, too excited for his next hit. He rushed back to the abandoned convenience store, hardly remembering any of the trip back.

He stopped just before entering the back door, finally pulling the little baggy back out of his pocket. He shook the pills out—a grand total of three, Aron was such a cheapskate—and popped them into his mouth, dry swallowing.

He tossed the baggy towards the dumpster and pushed the door open, slipping inside.

“Oh, honey! I’m home!”

\---

Klaus awoke violently, thrashing around on the ground. His heart and mind were racing, and the sudden movement made his stomach lurch. Klaus only just managed to turn and vomit on the floor beside him instead of down his front.

“Fuck…” he whispered, his voice coming out hoarse.

He spat on the ground, trying and failing to get the taste of vomit out of his mouth. His mind was hazy and disoriented, and his body ached. Not in the way withdrawal made him feel, though he could definitely feel it coming just around the corner, but the kind of ache that came from getting thoroughly beaten up.

What the fuck had happened? He didn’t remember getting into a fight… Actually, he didn’t remember much of anything.

He reached up to hold his head with a groan, but stopped when he noticed his forearms. They were scratched to hell, and when he reached out to poke at a particularly nasty mark, he hissed in pain.

His eyes caught on his finger nails, which had dried blood caked under them.

Had… had he done this to himself?

He tried to think of the last thing he remembered, but his brain wasn’t cooperating. He wanted to shake it, but was afraid he’d make himself throw up a second time.

He heard a whining sound and glanced up to find Fitz lying several feet away. He was looking at Klaus with big eyes, his head resting on his paws and ears back.

Klaus reached out a hand, beckoning him closer. Fitz shuffled forward on his belly until he was within arm’s reach, and then he got up and laid his head in Klaus’s lap. Klaus reached down and ran a shaking hand over the dog’s head.

“So. You’re awake.”

Klaus jumped and then groaned from the pain the sudden movement caused.

“Ben?”

“Oh, you remember me now? That’s good.”

Klaus looked around in the semi-darkness, trying to find his brother. He sounded upset, but like he was trying to reign in his emotions.

“… Remember you?”

Finally, Klaus spotted Ben. He was leaning against the wall opposite Klaus, and in his all-black clothing with his hood up, it was difficult to tell him and the shadows apart.

Ben moved forward, coming to a stop in front of Klaus’s sitting form.

“You don’t remember last night?”

Klaus started to shake his head, but the movement caused his stomach to lurch again.

“No,” he answered. “What happened?”

Ben scoffed.

“You lost your shit, is what happened. I don’t know what you fucking took, but it was _bad_. You kept screaming and crying and clawing at your own skin, and every time I tried to get close to help you calm down, you’d freak out even more! It was a fucking _nightmare_ , Klaus!”

Ben’s voice had steadily risen until he was shouting Klaus’s name. He stopped and pinched the bridge of his nose, clearly frustrated.

Klaus was panting, his heart racing.

“Well, it doesn’t sound like it was a picnic for me, either,” he muttered.

Ben sighed and knelt in front of him.

“I know… it wasn’t. I’m sorry. It’s just… you’d been doing so _well_.”

Klaus froze. Oh, no. He knew that voice.

Ben didn’t seem to notice Klaus’s reaction, barreling forward.

“You’d been using less, and you took in _Fitz_ —who, by the way, seemed pretty traumatized by your episode.”

Klaus’s hand tightened in Fitz’s fur.

“And I thought you were finally ready to get serious about getting sober. And then this happened? I mean, don’t tell me you can’t see how fucked up your life is!”

Klaus kept his head down, but lifted his eyes to glare at Ben.

“Screw you,” he spat.

“Klaus, do you even know what you took last night? You’re going to end up killing yourself! Is that what you want? To be dead like me? Because I can promise you, _it’s definitely not a fucking picnic!_ ” Ben yelled.

Klaus jerked back like he’d been slapped. _Fuck_ Ben for using the dead card.

“Yeah, well it’s _my_ fucking life!” Klaus shouted back. “And _I_ want to be high! _I_ want to be _numb!_ ”

Fitz startled at Klaus’s sudden yelling, jumping to his feet and taking several paces away from him.

“Numbing yourself isn’t going to make your problems go away, Klaus! It’s not going to get rid of the pain!”

“Ha! Show’s what you know about being high! I don’t have to feel _shit!_ ”

“Yeah? So how do you feel right now, huh?”

Klaus ground his teeth together.

“I’m not high, right now,” he bit out.

“No, but you were high when you _maimed yourself_. You were high when you were terrified out of your mind from whatever those drugs made you see and couldn’t even _recognize me!_ ”

“Luck of the fucking draw, Ben! Sometimes you get a bad hit, that’s just how it is.”

Ben groaned loudly between his teeth.

“I can’t do this anymore. I can’t sit here and watch you _kill yourself_.”

“Then _go_.”

The word sat heavy in the air between them. Klaus’s heart was thundering in his chest, and for a brief moment, he wondered if Ben would call his bluff.

He didn’t want Ben to leave, he just wanted this conversation to be _over_. He wanted to get high or drunk or both and just forget this fight ever happened. Go back to the good times of fucking _yesterday_.

How did things always spiral out of his control so fucking quickly?

“Fine.”

And with that, Ben disappeared, leaving Klaus staring into empty space.

_Fine._

Like the final nail in a coffin.

Klaus jerked back when Fitz whined, distraught.

“What? You upset with me, too?”

Fitz whined again, his head dipped low and ears back.

What had he been thinking, keeping a dog? Giving him a _name_. Who the hell was he trying to fool, he couldn’t take care of a dog, he couldn’t even take care of _himself_. He’d ruin Fitz’s life if he stayed.

Fitz deserved better than him.

“You should go,” he muttered.

He rolled onto his knees, groaning as the change in position made his stomach twist. He eventually pushed himself up onto his feet, unsteady but standing.

“You’re a smart dog, Fitz, I’m sure you can understand,” Klaus said. “ _Go_.”

He flapped his hands at him, shooing him. But instead of going away, Fitz came closer.

“No, _no_ , you need to _go!_ Leave!”

Klaus stomped his foot and feinted lunging at him, startling Fitz and making him take several steps back.

“Go! Go, go, go, gogogo-”

Klaus kept yelling the word at Fitz, stomping and eventually chasing him out of the room. Fitz squeezed through the open back door, and after several long moments of silence, he didn’t come back.

Klaus lifted his shaking hands to his face, pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes.

Fuck, he needed a drink. He needed a high. He needed out of his fucking _head_.

He looked around on the ground for his jacket, grabbing it from the floor and pulling it on to cover the scratch marks on his arms. He slipped out the back door, looking around briefly.

No sign of Fitz.

No sign of Ben.

Klaus convinced himself he wasn’t disappointed.

All he wanted, all he needed, was to be numb.

\---

He didn’t know where he was, and he didn’t care.

He didn’t know what he’d taken, and he didn’t care.

He didn’t know what he’d drunk, and he didn’t care.

He didn’t know who was pressed against his front and who was pressed against his back, and he didn’t care.

This was what he wanted.

The guy at his back licked his neck, and he liked how it made his stomach twist.

“You’re a pretty thing,” he shouted in his ear over the music.

Klaus smiled.

“We want you,” the guy in front of him said, hands tight on Klaus’s waist.

Klaus’s breath caught.

Oh, it felt good to be wanted.

“Wanna come with us?” One of them asked.

Klaus nodded.

 _Yes_.

They waded through the crowd, and one of them pushed a cup into Klaus’s hand. They didn’t even have to prompt him before he was downing it.

It burned deliciously down his throat.

One of them wrapped an arm around his waist, and Klaus leaned into him.

The sudden rush of cool air as they stepped outside was like a slap to the face. Klaus gasped and stumbled, but was caught by one of the men with him.

He shook his head, trying to clear it.

He felt weird.

He looked up to see where they were going. There was a van with a man leaning against it smoking. Another man opened the back door.

Klaus blinked. Something in the back of his mind was setting off alarm bells. This didn’t feel right.

In fact, it felt very, very wrong.

Klaus tried to stop, but the men on either side of him kept pushing him forward.

“No, I don’t want to,” he tried to say, but the words came out slurred and unintelligible.

He tried to pull away, but he was too weak to break their hold.

He tried just sitting down on the ground, but they caught him around the waist and hefted him into the van.

He pushed against one of them, trying to get back out of the van, but one of them backhanded him across the face, shocking him into stillness.

He didn’t move as heat began to spread across his face.

He licked his bottom lip. It tasted like blood.

He didn’t know how long they drove before they stopped. They pulled him out of the van, and he almost fell to his knees. One of the men caught him and half-carried him into the building.

Klaus looked around, trying to see where he was, but it was all a blur of motion, dark colors, and sudden flashes of light.

Finally, they came to a stop, dropping Klaus onto a bare mattress.

He took a moment to catch his breath, trying to orient himself.

It was bright. There were lights pointed down at the mattress.

He squinted, trying to see past the bright lights, but couldn’t make anything out.

He heard the men moving around, talking to each other. He tried to concentrate on what they were saying.

“How many we got?”

“About four hundred in the chat right now. There’ll be more once we get started, though.”

“Nice. Be sure to get a close up—”

“When he starts bleeding and crying, yeah, I know.”

There was laughter, but Klaus didn’t know what the joke was.

He tried to push himself off the mattress, but a hand gripped him by the hair, pulling his head back.

“Now, now, sweetheart, don’t get ahead of yourself.”

Klaus whimpered as the hand tightened, black spots appearing in his vision. The floor felt like it was spinning beneath him and pulling out from under him at the same time.

His vision narrowed to a point and his breathing turned rapid.

Distantly, he felt hands moving him, tugging and pulling and pressing. He felt something cold on his stomach, and then warm and wet, heat spreading up his chest.

He felt a hand on his throat, a hand on his jaw, a hand in his hair, a hand between his legs.

There was light all around him, and everything was distant and muted, until very suddenly it wasn’t anymore.

A loud crash forced a gasp from Klaus’s throat. His vision suddenly widened, the muted silence from before replaced with a cacophony of crashes and screams.

He was lying on his side on the matt­ress, his shirt ripped apart and lying underneath him. He flailed about, trying to sit up and find some way to orient himself to what the hell was going on.

Suddenly, the most terrifying sound Klaus had ever heard echoed through the room, making him freeze. Slowly, he lifted his head to find the source.

One of the men lay on the floor, sobbing and clutching at his crotch as blood spilled from between his fingers, soaking his bare legs. Two other men were struggling to drag the bleeding man away, one limping heavily. The fourth man was standing to the side, clutching his bleeding arm and staring dumbly at the scene around him.

And standing between Klaus and the men, face bloody and teeth bared, stood Fitz.

He let loose another terrifying growl, the sound seeming to vibrate the very air around them. He seemed larger, in the darkness, like a harbinger of death. He took a step forward, and the men flinched back, scrambling to get away.

Soon, they were gone. For a long moment, the only sounds were of Klaus’s heavy breathing and the quiet, steady growling from Fitz, his hackles still raised.

Seconds or hours passed, Klaus couldn’t be sure, before Fitz finally moved. He turned slowly to face him, his head bent low and ears back. His growls were replaced with a low, terribly sad whine.

A lump suddenly formed in Klaus’s throat, making his next shaking breath come as a gasp. His face twisted as a wretched sound ripped its way through his body, shaking him to his core. His face was already covered in tears he couldn’t remember crying, but flooded with heat as they began anew.

Once he started, he couldn’t stop. His head fell forward and he suddenly had no strength left to support himself. He tipped over onto his side, curling up into the fetal position as sobs wracked his form.

Fitz pressed his face under Klaus’s chin, whining loudly. His entire front, from snout to chest, was wet with blood, but Klaus barely noticed as he latched onto the dog, burying his fingers and face into his fur.

He didn’t know how long they laid there, the two of them crying in their own ways. Klaus was exhausted by the time the tears stopped and his sobs became gentle hiccups. Everything ached, from his eyeballs to his toes to his fingernails.

He wanted to sleep, but he didn’t want to stay there. He warred with himself for a while, trying to convince himself to get up until finally he unclenched his fists from Fitz’s fur and pushed himself up off the mattress.

He looked around, taking in the mess, and spotted a video camera and laptop lying on the floor. Suddenly, he was filled with a surge of burning rage, and he was scrambling to his feet, grabbing the camera and smashing it on the ground. He picked up the laptop and did the same to it.

Over and over and over and over again, until all that was left was broken glass and plastic.

Klaus stumbled back, his breathing harsh. He could feel himself begin to crash again, the sudden rush of adrenaline waning rapidly. He needed to get out of here, no way was he passing out in this place.

“Fitz…” he whispered, barely recognizing his own voice.

Somehow, Fitz seemed to understand. He came to Klaus’s side, and Klaus wound the fingers of his right hand into his fur. Slowly, he led Klaus out of the room, out of the building, and onto the street.

Klaus followed, barely paying attention to anything other than putting one foot in front of the other.

He trusted Fitz to bring him home.

\---

He woke slowly, ebbing in and out of consciousness for a while before it finally latched on. He whined softly as he shifted against the hard ground. He felt like someone had run him over with a semi and then backed over him a second time, just for shits and giggles.

He slowly opened his eyes, the lids feeling inordinately heavy. Cuddled up to his front laid Fitz, his warm back curved against Klaus’s front. Klaus smiled and lifted an arm to pet him, finally noticing the black coat covering him.

He frowned at it, wondering who could have possibly laid it on top of him before it finally dawned on him that it must have been Fitz.

 _What a weird, perfect dog,_ he thought.

Fitz shifted, turning his head to look at Klaus, his tail gently wagging up and down at the sight of him awake. Klaus smiled down at the dog, gently stroking the fur between his eyes.

Fitz had been his savior not once, but twice now. What had he done to earn that kind of loyalty, that kind of love? He didn’t feel deserving of it, but as his mind skirted around the memories of the night before, he couldn’t help but feel thankful.

Movement in the corner of his eye caught his attention, making him flinch and then freeze. He sighed when he saw it was Ben, sitting across the room, his arms resting on his bent knees and his hood pulled up, covering his eyes.

Klaus stared at him for a long moment. He couldn’t put words to what he was feeling now, his emotions so mixed up inside of him.

Happy and relieved, and heartbroken and bitter, and nervous and afraid, and sick to his stomach.

The longer the silence between them stretched, the more his feelings seemed to grow until he finally felt like he was about to burst.

“Say something,” he blurted out, his voice sounding wrecked.

Ben shifted, lifting his head a bit.

“What do you want me to say?” he asked.

His voice sounded lifeless and empty, and it made something in Klaus’s mind come unhinged.

He hated this, he hated everything about this. He hated feeling this way, he hated what happened, he hated those men and their hands and their laughing. He hated how fucking _weak_ he was, how he couldn’t ever just fucking say _no_ , how he couldn’t do anything against them despite growing up a supposed _superhero_. He hated it so much, he hated Ben sounding dead, he hated Ben _being_ dead, he hated himself, god, fuck, fuck fuck _fuck fuck **fuck FUC-**_

“Klaus, you need to breathe. Can you hear me?”

Ben was suddenly beside him and Klaus realized he wasn’t getting any air and Fitz was nervously pushing his head against his neck.

He tried gasping, but the breath caught in his throat, so he grabbed onto Fitz in panic, trembling fingers tightening in the thick, grey fur.

“Klaus, breathe. Listen to my voice. You’re safe, there’s no one here but us. You’re not dying, you’re having a panic attack. Keep breathing and it’ll end, okay? Just keep breathing. You’re safe, Klaus.”

Klaus tried to concentrate on the cadence of Ben’s voice, instead of the pounding of his own heart.

Slowly, his breathing and heartrate slowed. He was completely drained, his body heavy and mind lethargic.

He slid down onto his side, Fitz following him and laying down. He looked up at Ben, who was kneeling in front of him. He couldn’t figure out his expression, his mind too busy being pulled towards sleep to decipher it.

“Get some rest, Klaus,” Ben whispered, reaching out like he wanted to pull the jacket over Klaus’s shoulder before pulling back, remembering he couldn’t.

Klaus closed his eyes and fell easily into sleep’s embrace.

\---

Minutes or hours later, Klaus awoke again. His eyes fluttered open, and the first thing he saw was Ben lying next to him, staring at the ceiling. Seeming to sense he was awake, Ben turned to look at him.

“Hey,” he said, voice soft.

“Hey,” Klaus croaked.

He slipped his arms from around Fitz and rubbed at his eyes with a groan. Finally, he sat up and pulled his coat on, slipping his arms into the sleeves.

He glanced up at Ben, who’d sat up as well, before looking away again.

“’m sorry,” he mumbled, fumbling with the coat’s buttons.

Ben was quiet for a moment. “For what?”

Klaus finally gave up on the buttons and just leaned against the wall, pulling his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them.

“Everything?”

Ben sighed and moved to sit next to him. Fitz rolled over and onto Klaus’s feet, and Klaus slipped the fingers of his right hand into his fur.

“We both said things we regret,” Ben said, and Klaus nodded.

“And… I shouldn’t have left.”

Klaus’s shoulder’s tensed. He could feel something coming. Fitz sat up and pushed between Klaus’s legs, trying to get closer. Klaus opened his legs, letting Fitz press close against him. He hooked his chin over the dog’s shoulder, both hands buried in the fur on his sides.

“What happened last night?” Ben asked, just like Klaus knew he would.

“Nothing,” he mumbled, pressing his mouth into Fitz’s fur.

“ _Nothing_ didn’t leave you covered in bruises and blood!” Ben replied angrily, making Klaus flinch.

“Sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to… I’m not angry at you, Klaus,” Ben rushed to say, his tone regretful.

Klaus breathed in the scent of Fitz’s fur. He honestly smelled kind of bad, but it was grounding, in a way.

“Please, Klaus,” Ben tried again when Klaus didn’t say anything. “You don’t have to… to talk about it. Just. Did someone hurt you?”

Ben’s voice got quiet on the question, like he wasn’t sure he wanted to ask it or not. Or maybe like he was afraid of the answer, but knew he had to ask anyway.

Klaus spent a long moment just breathing in Fitz’s scent before he nodded an affirmative.

Next to him, Ben let out a shaky breath.

“Did they rape you?” he asked, voice shaking

Klaus shook his head immediately, his face firmly hidden in Fitz’s fur now.

There was silence between them for a long moment before Klaus finally broke it.

“Fitz saved me, again.”

“Yeah?” Ben asked softly.

Klaus nodded.

“Did he take a bite out of them?”

Klaus huffed, turning his head just enough to glance at Ben from the corner of his eye.

“I’m pretty sure he bit one of their dick’s off.”

Ben’s responding smile was cruel.

“Good. Still nicer than I would’ve been if I were alive, though.”

Klaus allowed himself to be filled with warmth at those words. Ben had never been fond of using his powers, even against the truly terrible. It wasn’t so much a distaste for killing as it was a dislike of what his abilities did to him personally. But hearing that he would have let loose the Horrors in Klaus’s defense warmed his heart.

His stomach interrupted the moment by growling loudly and insistently. Klaus slipped away from Fitz, groaning and rubbing his stomach.

“I’m hungry,” he whined, looking over at Ben with big eyes.

Ben snorted, but his eyes were still soft when he looked at Klaus.

“Sorry, I can’t help you with that.” He lifted his hands up and wiggled his fingers. “Ghost hands.”

Klaus snorted, and Ben smiled.

Klaus sighed, and closed his eyes briefly. Finally, he pushed himself to his feet with a groan, only stumbling a little as he went.

“Do you think the food kitchen will have those little ice creams with wooden spoons?” he asked, stretching his arms above his head.

“Can’t hurt to ask,” Ben replied, standing closer to him than usual.

Klaus looked at Ben, a smile briefly lifting the corners of his lips.

“Yeah. It couldn’t hurt.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> phew! sorry for the super intense chapter. i promise things get better!
> 
> let me know what you thought? 
> 
> also, i know have a tua blog, @246-hargreeves. feel free to come yell at me about tua:)


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